ROBERTO: In a career spanning 30 years Toyah Willcox has had 13 Top 40 singles, and that's very good. Recorded 20 albums, very good! 

Written two books, been in over 40 stage plays, made 10 feature films and presented such diverse TV programmes as “The Good Sex Guide Late”, “Watchdog” and “Songs Of Praise”. I mean she's done everything! 

Toyah's currently on tour in “Hormonal Housewives”. Toyah Willcox, hello! 

TOYAH: (on the phone) Hello! How are you all? 

ROBERTO: (and other presenters in the studio): Very well, thank you! I tell you what ... I'm just knackered reading about all the things you've done! You're amazing! 

TOYAH: Well, I'm knackered having done it! (the presenters laugh) 

ROBERTO: And still only 25! The ten feature films that you made, did you get to see them Toyah? 

TOYAH: No, and I've actually made 12 now

ROBERTO: Twelve?! 

TOYAH: And the hit singles have gone up as well because I started charting in the iTunes chart - 

ROBERTO:: Well done you! Goodness! 

TOYAH: I saw “The Tempest” (below) which I absolutely loved, it was a Derek Jarman film. I've never seen “Quadrophenia”. I've seen “The Ebony Tower”, which I made with Laurence Olivier and Greta Scacchi. But I don't often watch myself, I don't like this little person with the lisp


ROBERTO: (laughs) You must love doing theatre then because you can't watch yourself on stage? 

TOYAH: I was on stage last night, we played Southport and it was a riot! It was the most fantastic night! I was doing some speeches and I was thinking “I'm really enjoying this, and they're enjoying it ... why can't I watch myself on telly?”

I was thinking that while saying my lines. I watch myself and I go “oh no, too small, no ... too fat! Legs aren't long enough, I don't like the voice!" I'm super critical! 

ANOTHER PRESENTER: In the "Housewives" you're in and around the three countries a fair bit over the next the 46 weeks ... what can we expect in Dunstable because one of team is coming –

TOYAH: I know! I just found out! 

ROBERTO: Not a hormonal housewife, she's very special, she's going to be there Sunday night, Toyah! 

TOYAH: This is Chaucer for women. This is like Al Murray has had a sex change. It's purely a celebration of women and everything that women talk about among themselves. It's not feminism, it's not political. This is pure, unadulterated fun and it's a scream every ten seconds

ROBERTO: So do you bash us blokes? 

TOYAH: No we don't, we actually go the other way. We are complete nymphomaniacs. Desiring, wanting to win you and wanting to pay for you

ROBERTO: What time does it start then? (the team laughs) I'll be there Sunday night! 

TOYAH: Blokes are welcome but they've really got to like women because this is female comedy from a purely female perspective. You'll come out knowing a lot more about women than you did when you went in

ROBERTO: Toyah, do you have any audience participation in this show? 

TOYAH: Well, the participation is an awful lot of women going “oh yes, oh yes, no I'm a size 12, no I'm actually I'm a size 18”. It's female banter, a bit like "Loose Women". Women totally get where we're coming from, it's very cleverly written

ROBERTO: You'll notice our Coral in the audience on Sunday night. She's amazing, never been touched by a human hands or kissed, she's got 4 kids. She's going to stand out like a sore thumb, you're really going to enjoy her in the audience

TOYAH: Good. That's what we like. We want women to be naughty

ROBERTO: Well, you've got a right one there! (all laugh) So is it sketches or is it series of - 


TOYAH: There's three of us on stage, all three women. It is a series of sketches that are sandwiched together by us being ourselves and talking about our own lives

So I talk about the fact that I've never had children but I've always been hormonal. I talk about the fact that I've ever held a baby about twice in my life. All the other girls have babies and have a family life

So we sandwich the stories together and we do sketches. We play six characters each and the sketches are all about the women in the audience. It's about groups talking about “Fifty Shades Of Grey”, it's about competition at the school gates. Going to Zumba classes. Being teenagers. So we interweave the sketches into stand up comedy

ROBERTO: Magnificent. Have they asked you to take part in “I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here” yet, Toyah? 

TOYAH: I've done it! 

ROBERTO: You're right, you did! 

ANOTHER PRESENTER: Well, she'd know wouldn't she! 

 TOYAH: In 2003

ROBERTO: I'll look it up on Youtube. Have they asked you to do “Come Dancing”? 

TOYAH: No, I couldn't do “Come Dancing” because I've already got one new hip. I'm probably due another new hip and I just don't think I could do it any more. Even though I'm incredibly fit, I don't have all that kind of pivotal action you need to swing yourself about the stage all day long

ROBERTO: Me neither. Well, we wish you good luck. Break a leg on Sunday in The Grove in Dunstable! Thanks, Toyah! 

TOYAH: It's going to be a scream! 

ROBERTO: Take care, thank you!



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