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IN THE COURT OF THE

CRIMSON QUEEN

RE-ISSUE

Toyah's 2008 album has been
re-issued with a bonus track
"21st Century Supersister"

It's available now 

TOYAH ON
BBC RADIO BRISTOL
WITH LAURA RAWLINGS
9.5.2013

LAURA: My big guest this afternoon is Toyah Willcox. She' going to be heading to the west very shortly because she's going to be starring in a show called “Hormonal Housewives”. It's going to be on at the Bristol Hippodrome and it's touring all around. I caught up with her just to see how the show is going.

TOYAH: (On the phone) It's very very funny and I know that's a strange thing for me to say - I've already done 46 shows of it but it's as written stand-up comedy. There's three actresses on stage. There's the writer Julie Coombe, there's myself Toyah Willcox and there's Sarah Jane Buckley. 

We get rid of that invisible wall and we talk directly to the audience about female things – things women think they can not talk about in public, in front of men, in front anyone that they perhaps believe are too intelligent to talk about female things. And what I mean about that – there is so much in a woman's life, women are so diverse. The umbrella under which women stand is incredibly broad. 

That's what this show represents. We talk about PMS, we talk about competitive mum's at the school gate, we talk clothes sizes, faddy diets, we talk about being bad at the gym, we talk about trying to find love in old age, we cover everything that women think about but feel are prohibited to talk about. It is a very very naughty show.

LAURA: I know one of the things is about not only what makes women tick but also makes them ticked off. So what kind of things make you ticked off?

TOYAH: Uh, I don't get up in the morning and think what ticks me off. I get up in the morning and think I have a fantastic job, I've got a three hour drive to get there, I've got to do press, I don't deal with ticked off. I deal with what I have to deal with. 

That said, this play isn't about what we're ticked off with, it's about how we think. It's not a negative production. I think what's exceptional about this production is that it's all inclusive. It's about the broad spectrum of women. We don't deal with body fascism, we celebrate the diversity of women. 

We laugh at the faddy diets, we laugh at the fact that women always think they should look slimmer. We laugh at the fact that dress sizes in different shops are always different. This isn't “Grumpy Old Women” - this is a celebration.

LAURA: OK. Where do think your kind of get and go and up and at 'em spirit comes from? Can you trace it back to certain points in your life, how you grew up, all that kind of stuff?

TOYAH: I have one rule in life. I will not have people with negativity in my life. If people have a negative outlook they never get my phone number, they never see me again. 

I just don't do that. I give a lot of motivational speeches and one of the first rules I give is if you have to deal with someone who reflects negatively onto you, get them out of your life. Your life will be so much better. 

And as soon as people are dealt with like that or stop being negative … and I probably get that from being born a woman, always being projected negatively, "why aren't you like so and so?", "why don't you do what so and so does?", no time, sorry, life's too short. Get on with what you have. We all have exceptionally good lives. Just look at what's good.

LAURA: Does some of it also come from - when I was reading about you in the early years, one of the things I hadn't realised is that you were born with various forms of disabilities and had to go through series of different operations. 

Yet despite all of that and the difficulties it created with relationships and so on ... you've done so many different things! Any one of them people would be proud of but collectively it's been an incredible career. And still is!

TOYAH: What I was born with I grew out of. I was just – some babies are born with things they need to grow into. Er, everything I had was sorted by the time I was fully grown and a teenager. There was nothing long term. Past it I went to an all girl school, I loathed the system, I was never good at exams. 

I was classed as dyslexic so I was always being told what I can't do. I only deal with what I can do and think that has to be a law in life. We live in an incredible society and country where this country really tries to help everyone. We have a benefit system, we have the NHS and still people moan. I think we need to deal with and look what we have. Not what we don't have. 

I would never ever go and buy and buy a celebrity based magazine on a newsagents shelf because all you read is negative. It's ridiculous, I find it absolutely dull. Absolutely stupid and time is short.

LAURA: What do you find negative? Is it things that you're just never going to have in your own life or that's it's just a projected image that's not perhaps even true?

TOYAH: It's a projected image that your life is nothing unless you have this handbag, your life is nothing unless you're a size 8. Just like that – it's just ludicrous. Absolutely ludicrous! I remember watching breakfast TV the other week and Lulu was on and all they could talk about was Lulu's age and the fact that she recorded “Shout”. 

They completely ignored the message that she was giving that she -  at her fabulous age - is touring America! I almost threw a brick at the telly! I'm just so not into the kind of backward way we look at things. It's just so dull and the women I know have no interested in it either so who the hell supporting this system?

LAURA: Well, I guess in some ways it's fed into careers like your own? In that - you know,  people go out and buy magazines and there is that interest in celebrity ... then you are a celebrity too so in some ways you -

TOYAH: I don't live like a celebrity.

LAURA: I meant in terms of being in the public life and people will be interested, I'm not saying “Hello!” magazine necessarily now but what I mean as a part of wider culture?

TOYAH: Yeah, well, that's it exactly! Who's created that culture and why are we swallowing it? I mean everyone who bought cheap food is no longer buying it because there might be horse meat in it, everything is coming out. This is our chance for change. And one of the biggest things I think we need to look at is we need to look at women in a more positive light.

LAURA: So you're still quite rebellious and there's a lot you want to say?

TOYAH: Yeah, I suppose so yeah. I think what it is here I am on the road, working incredibly hard, loving my work, I'm doing something I believe in. One the most positive aspects of “Hormonal Housewives” is that it is a celebration of women. It's not cashing in on anger. Every woman in our audience that we're talking to can recognise what we're saying and what we're doing. 

I like to think to that every woman who leaves that theatre feels like they've been recognised. That's so important. I suppose as an actress if I was frustrated by anything it's that when I receive a play for a role for me in it, you know - I'm looking for something I haven't done before. I'm looking for the great playright. 

I'm looking for the producer that wants enhance people's lives. I'm not talking about happy clappy stuff, I'm talking about you know - "Wake up! Smell the coffee!" This is what real life is about.

LAURA: You can do everything through arts but would you ever think about going into politics and saying "right, now is a good time, there's a shortage of women in politics" – someone like you. Stick up for people – would you fancy it?

TOYAH: I've not got the brain for politics. One of the things you see when people go into politics – the compromises they have to make, the kind of low level corruption they have to face, the corruption of their beliefs … I don't just think I could do it! I'd go mad!

LAURA: That's not the same as having a brain though is it? That's having different values perhaps?

TOYAH: I think anyone in politics has to know about financial systems, they have to know about social systems. I don't know any of that. I really don't. I just think politics it's something way way past my ability.

LAURA: Can I just ask you one thing quickly? Did your mum and dad meet in Weston-super-Mare?

TOYAH: Yes! My father was in the audience and my mother was a dancer. She used to be in a dance troupe (below) with Max Wall as the main star. 

And my father was in the audience and just fell in love with her at first sight and started to follow her around the country. And he carved his name onto the stage door on the pier at Weston-super-Mare.

LAURA: That's romance! Isn't it lovely?

TOYAH: Oh, yeah! It's really lovely! It's a very sweet story.

LAURA: It is and I wonder if it's still there?

TOYAH: Well, we took them both there about 10 years to look for it and we couldn't find it.

TOYAH ON
BBC RADIO HUMBERSIDE
WITH DAVID BURNS
1.5.2013

DAVID: (reads on email) This is from Mike, he says “Wohoo Toyah! "It's A Mystery", "I Want To Be Free", "Thunder In The Mountains" – I had a right thing for Toyah! I knew all the words, used to drive the family nuts singing all the songs, wasn't really sure about the "Teletubbies" though! Love you though, Toyah!” Says Mike. 

In that case I can't really top that introduction so let's talk to Toyah! Toyah Willcox on the programme. Morning, how are you?

TOYAH: (laughs) How are you doing?

DAVID: I'm good. Have you always inspired that sort of devotion?

TOYAH: I can't answer that – I'm still going, I'm 55 this year and still really busy so I must be doing something right.

DAVID: You must be doing something right. Strangely enough we were talking about “Quadrophenia” and scooters earlier in the week. There's a bloke in Scunthorpe that does paintings of scooters and things like that. He's an artist. Check him out while you're in Scunthorpe , Lee Coleman, a very good artist.

TOYAH: Oh, fantastic!

DAVID: And we got into talking about “Quadrophenia” and at the time I forgot you were in it, weren't you?!

TOYAH: Yeah, I play “Monkey” in it

DAVID: Yeah … what was that experience like?

TOYAH: It was - the word experience sums it up! It was a massive film. On the poster, we were the main characters on the poster, there was about 7 of us. There's Sting, Lesley Ash, Phil Daniels, Mark Wingett, Trevor … I've forgotten Trevor's surname. We've all kind of gone on and had great careers. 

At the time we were undiscovered. It was just this massive film, it was an event to make it. There was about 5000 extras because we had to recreate the Brighton mods and rockers riots. So I just remember complete unorganised mayhem. But this fantastic film came out of it. 

One of the biggest curses I have about this film is that is was critically slated and I think it's one of the most important British films ever made and every generation has rediscovered it for itself over the last 32 years. I think if something is good it lasts.

DAVID: Well said! I was a student at the time I think – I loved it! I thought it was a fantastic film and I still do!

TOYAH: I think generally the younger generation – the rite of passage, the confused teenagers really identify with this film. It's about finding yourself, it's about standing on your own two feet, learning how to be grounded. It's about your first sexual encounter. And I just think it's an incredibly powerful message.

DAVID: Yeah. You must be very proud to have been in it. But we're not here to talk - I appreciate you talking about “Quadrophenia” but now as you say you've advanced slightly in years (Toyah laughs) So you're now a “Hormonal Housewife” - tell me about that, Toyah?

TOYAH: I'm on tour, doing “Hormonal Housewives”, we're in Scunthorpe, the Bath Halls on the 2nd of May, tomorrow and it's very very naughty, it's written as stand-up comedy. There's three of us on stage, we talk directly to the audience. It's about women, it's about the secrets lives of women. 

We tackle subjects that women perhaps feel they can only talk about in the living room amongst themselves rather than in the broader reaches of the world. We cover things from pregnancy to PMS to labour, competitive mums at the school gate, being bad at the gym, the fact that we have three sizes of clothes in our wardrobe, that we're always hoping we'll get into the smallest size (David laughs) And things like that

DAVID: Yeah. Competitive mums at the school gates?

TOYAH: Yes. Well I'm, not a mum so I'm acting on that one. But apparently a lot of it goes on and we kind of cover that subject about oneupmanship

DAVID: In terms of it being a fashion parade and things like that?

TOYAH: Well, I think you're very right, there is the fashion parade thing but there's also that ridiculous thing of "my child is cleverer than yours" or "your child is disturbed and should be on drugs to keep him calm." 

It's kind of all of those things that we never really accept as children, teenagers, even adults, for what they are. To some extent we're always passing some form of judgement and it starts sometimes at the school gates.

DAVID: So is this an insight into the modern woman then?

TOYAH: I think it's an insight – the whole piece, the whole evening is an insight into women of all ages, through all shapes and sizes. This is not a show about body fascism, this is a pure celebration of women and it's very Chaucerian. It's incredibly naughty, it's not suitable for anyone under the age of 16.

DAVID: Right, OK

TOYAH: It's very bawdy, in about 900 women in the audience we have about 6 men. The most fun we have is with gay men. They laugh louder than the women! But I think any man who comes to see this has to be slightly brave and has to love female banter.

DAVID: Yeah, I can imagine it could be very good. Is it belly laugh funny? I take it is?

TOYAH: It's so naughty. The biggest compliment and complaint we've had in the same sentence is people leave with their ribs hurting

DAVID: Right. OK. You can't say much fairer than that. So is this a big tour for you then?

TOYAH: Yeah, we're doing 67 venues in two and a half months, we're only doing one night stands so we're running it as a comedy tour. We're now well over half way through, we've only got 23 shows left. So there's a lot of travelling, it's full on. 

It's great great fun! I've never done anything like because it is in the style of stand-up so we talk about ourselves as real people, we're playing ourselves as real people but then we slot in six characters where we do these sketches so it's like a sketch show as well.

DAVID: OK. Are you more of an actress than a singer these days?

TOYAH: God no, I tour the whole year round, I've been touring the last four years! So straight after this I start touring again. 

 Photo by Martin Cotter

DAVID: Have you got a whip cracking agent - is that what it's about or can you not just sit up at home with your feet up enjoying life?

TOYAH: No, I do everything, I have my office at home, I book the band, do all the contracts. I do have agents as well but I really enjoy my work so you know - it's a really nice way to spend your time and there's no need for me to be sitting at home with my feet up. But one day I may do that!

DAVID: No no no, I find that when you say "I'm going to sit at home with my feet up", that's the day you peg it really -

TOYAH: Well, I've been told!

DAVID: You've got to keep doing, you've got to keep cracking. Well, I wish you all the best, I'm sure you'll have a wonderful evening at the Bath Halls in Scunthorpe. 

It's a real pleasure to talk to you and seriously take great pride in "Quadrophenia". It doesn't date in any way. I watched it a few weeks ago and a what a fantastic film!

TOYAH: That's brilliant, thank you!

DAVID: Really nice to talk to you, appreciate your time this morning.

TOYAH ON
BBC RADIO WILTSHIRE
WITH SU DAVIES
22.4.2013

SU: Any woman who's presented TV programmes ranging from “The Good Sex Guide Late” to “Songs Of Praise” is a woman who likes a bit variety in her career I'm thinking. Definitely the case with our next quest – Toyah Willcox. 

Toyah of course used to live here in Wiltshire and is known for her music career, 13 Top 40 singles, she also starred in movies and many stage plays and is actually back on the boards next week because she brings a very popular “Hormonal Housewives” show to the Wyvern Theatre in Swindon. 

So what do woman and indeed men in the audience expect to see? We can find out because I spoke with her earlier – it's Toyah Willcox!

TOYAH: (on the phone) Hello! How are you?

SU: Very well, thank you! What attracted you then to the show?

TOYAH: Well, it's comedy and to perform comedy is an absolute joy. I don't get to do it that often, I think I only get to do that every ten years and I've been in the business for 35 years. It's a wonderful way to hone your art. I love the fact that with comedy you spend the first five pages before the punch line setting the joke up. 

And because this script has a laugh every five lines it's quite complex although you would think the presentation is incredibly simple and straightforward. It's a pure piece of joy celebrating women. It's very naughty, it's very Chaucerian, there's no swearing but I think people are surprised how naughty it is (Su laughs)

SU: All I can remember from my A-level English Chaucer is “you clipped a farter!”

TOYAH: Oh, there's lots of that!

SU: Is there lots of that? Oh, fair enough! It's a three hander – there's only three of you. Does that make it tough as a performer?

TOYAH: I like it because I'm used to being on stage with my band and being the front person who has to fit everything together and do all the talking between the songs. With this being a three hander we're all there for each other and we're all setting up each others jokes. 

We don't really leave the stage, we sometimes have to go into the wings and pick up a prop but it's 112 pages of dialogue for three people so it is demanding on that level but I'm finding the laughter is so extreme and so fluid that you get so much energy back off the audience because they're loving it. 

The more outrageous we are the bigger the reaction. So I'm finding it very very energising and we're exactly half way through this tour – we're doing 67 venues in two and a half months and I feel completely energised by it.

SU: So what have you had, not just from the women, I imagine it predominantly a female audience – what about the men who come as well?

TOYAH: Well, in 900 women we get about 6 men. (Su laughs) I think they have to be slightly perverse to want to be there. I think some arrived there and realised it's a women's show. But men are welcome. But they should only come if they enjoy female banter because this is celebrating all types of women, it's not suitable for anyone under 16 because it is rude but it's a celebration of women. 

It's not political, it's not feminist, it recognises everything women know but sometimes they don't talk about because they think no-one wants to know about competition at the school gates or suddenly realising you're a size larger than a size 16. They think they can't talk about these things but we do.

SU: You mentioned it's a long tour you're going on. Does it mean you just sort of back up your car with everything you could possibly need?

TOYAH: Yeah. I got snowed in on the M23 a month ago and was on the M23 near Brighton for 14 hours and I coped with that because my boot has bedding in, clothes in (Su laughs), food, water and I have packed it for armageddon. 

It just makes sense because we're doing an average 4 to 6 hours travel a day and you don't always get time to just stop off. So I'm very well equipped.

SU: This means of course you're coming back to Wiltshire and you lived here in Broad Chalke for a long time. What are your memories of Broad Chalke?

TOYAH: I loved living in Wiltshire, very happy memories. Wonderful friends! I love the theatre in Salisbury and I love Salisbury, full stop.

SU: And your home was Reddish House (below), wasn't it? Was it haunted, wasn't it suppose to be haunted or something?

TOYAH: Well, we think it was haunted by Cecil Beaton. I never experienced meeting Cecil Beaton but funny enough my husband did. He woke up one night and Cecil Beaton was at the end of the bed trying to tell him something. That's the first time and the last time my husband has ever seen a ghost. (Su laughs)

SU: Now, we have prepared a little quiz for you -

TOYAH: Oh, thank you!

SU: You say that now, Toyah! (Toyah laughs) We've done a jingle as well. So please don't be overwroat by this musicality of this jingle. Here it comes! (plays jingle “It's Toyah's quiz, it's Toyah's quiz”) Lovely! (Toyah laughs) 

The quiz is based on a survey about men and women, I thought tie it in with “Hormonal Housewives” - see how you get on.

TOYAH: OK

SU: OK, three questions for you – it's true or false answers. Women talk almost three times as much as men? Is that true or is that false?

TOYAH: I think that's true.

SU: That is absolutely true. On average females say 20 000 words a day, men just 7000. Whatever! Number two: women now earn on average the same as men in the workplace. True or false?

TOYAH: No, that is not true.

SU: That is absolutely right, it's a false one, women earn on average 19.5% less than men for full time work. Oh, you're 100% right so far. Right, third one: men will shop longer, happily, than women. True or false? Who loves to shop?

TOYAH: Women!

SU: Of course! (Toyah laughs) Apparently men and women who shop together as a couple can do so for 72 minutes before they start to quarrel but women can just shop happily on for another 28 minutes! 

Toyah have a lovely time on your return to Wilshire, we look forward to seeing you at the Wyvern Theatre in Swindon!

TOYAH: Lovely, thank you!

TOYAH ON
BBC RADIO LEICESTER
WITH MONICA WINFIELD
20.4.2013

MONICA: To any of us of a certain age the name Toyah Willcox will be instantly recognisable whether you know her for her songs like “It's A Mystery” or “I Want To Be Free” or her film performances in “Jubilee” or “Quadrophenia”. 

Or her regular television appearances - hers is an instantly recognisable face and voice. Well, next Saturday Toyah Willcox will be in Leicester as part of the cast of “Hormonal Housewives”, a show that looks at everything that makes todays women tick from holidays to teenagers to shopping, DIY. A head of the “Hormonal Housewives” visit I spoke to Toyah Willcox and asked her to describe the show.

TOYAH: (on the phone) It's a three hander that celebrates the diversity of women. It's not political, it's not feminist, it's just pure joy. It's joke after joke after joke, punch line after punch line. It's written as stand- up comedy with sketches interwoven. The three of us - we never really leave the stage other than to get a prop or something. 

But it's all inclusive, it's about every woman. It's not about body fascism, it's not about celebrity, it's about real women's real life. And I think because of that it' so popular because most of the women in the audience can see themselves in what what we are doing.

MONICA: I love the phrase “diversity of women” and I think if anybody sums up that phrase it's got to be you.

TOYAH: Well, I'm very old – well, I'm getting there, I'm 54 at the moment, about to turn 55, I've been in the business 37 year and I think women, you have to diversify every now and then. Longevity in music is particularly difficult. I've kind of gone into music, out of music, back into music and I found that every kind of tangent I've taken has helped me get back into music. 

So I've been very very lucky there. When you look at women's careers, most women stop to have children and then they go back to work or they re-educate for a new job - diversity is what women do. We have to do it, we have to adaptable.

MONICA: And I think the phrase “multi-tasking” was invented by women for women because we can do many things at once and you're touring your music at the same time as touring with these “Hormonal Housewives”?

TOYAH: It's is true, not as much as normal, with “Hormonal Housewives” we're doing 67 venues in two and a half months and we're now half way through the tour. But I'm having to fit telly in around what I'm doing and a few concerts but once we finish at the end of May I'm just off on the road with my band again.

MONICA: Do you ever say no?

TOYAH: Yes!

MONICA: (laughs) Do you?!

TOYAH: You'd be amazed how many times I say no. As I get older I'm very good at saying no. As I was younger I felt mortally wounded if I had to say no to anything, I thought I was upsetting people or wouldn't be liked but now as I'm older I'm very selective about what I do. 

Partly because my body can't do what my mind thinks it can do – you know, that's just age. And also I want time with my husband (Robert Fripp, below with Toyah). My husband is in his late 60's and I want to have time with him. I say to him virtually every day "let's do what we want to do while we can, not when we've got the time and we can't." So I'm starting to say no to things.

MONICA: Good for you! Well, I'm glad you said yes to “Hormonal Housewives”. You're coming to Leicester. Is it a case of you just bring the show and it doesn't really matter what theatre you're in or does each city and each theatre have it's own identity?

TOYAH: Oh totally, I think what's so utterly unique about England and the UK – every town and city is culturally radically different. It's different in how they listen, it's different in how they react. 

And because of that we're always on our toes because the laughter is going to come in different places, it's going to be bigger in certain places. We've got to be ready for that – you can't take for granted how an audience is going to response to something.

MONICA: I assume there's a bit of an opportunity to meet the audience even if by an accident afterwards. What kind of feedback do you get?

TOYAH: The biggest feedback is that their jaws hurt and their rib cages hurt – they didn't expect to laugh so much (Monica laughs) But also I think that the women recognise the writing, the writing is very clever, it's very observational and it's very real life. And I think women really really appreciate and get that. That it's about their lives in their homes.

MONICA: Is there anything after these 67 dates – what's next for you?

TOYAH: I'm straight out on the road with the band so that's what I'm doing for the rest of the year.

MONICA: You just come across of somebody who embraces everything rather than looking at things and go “do you know, that could be a problem”. You go “do you know, let's just do it!”

TOYAH: There's a little bit of "let's do it", there's a little bit of "it's daunting". I take this tour day by day and I think that's the best way to approach it. Because I'm about five hours a day in the car, do the press, do the show so if I thought too far ahead I would just be too overwhelmed. But it is exciting and it's incredibly good fun.

MONICA: Does sound brilliant, doesn't it? Although I don't envy the half a dozen men that find themselves in the audience for “Hormonal Housewives”.

TOYAH ON
BBC RADIO DERBY
WITH ANDY POTTER
12.4.2013

ANDY: Toyah is coming to the Derby Assembly Rooms with a new stage show. Tell me all about “Hormonal Housewives”

TOYAH: (on the phone) Well, it's a three hander, three actresses on stage, obviously I'm one of them. It's done very much without the invisible wall between the stage and the audience, it's performed as stand-up. Even though it's scripted it's a laugh every five seconds which is something I've never done before - especially if you do something like Shakespeare or Christopher Hampton or something like that. 

It's about women, it celebrates women, it's not political and it's certainly not feminist other than feminism paves the way for this kind of comedy to be possible. It's bawdy, it's Chaucerian, it's surprisingly naughty. Men are welcome but they really have to enjoy the banter of women.

ANDY: Is it a bit like when I go to things like “The Vagina Monologues” and you sit there and you're thinking "hang on, everybody's looking at me!"

TOYAH: No. Well, there is a bit of that because we only have about six men per show but we do make a fuss of the men that we can see. But “The Vagina Monologues” is a serious piece and it has a serious message. 

I'm not saying that “Hormonal Housewives” is frivolous but it is comedy and it is incredibly successful as comedy. It's very fast moving, it's a proper theatre length show but every time the interval arrives I feel as though I've only just blinked! It's so much fun!

ANDY: Are there lots of knowing glances between you then?

TOYAH: Oh, God yeah! Because we talk directly to the audience and it's an observational piece about women's lives. So it's all about recognition. And you get huge waves of reaction come back at you when you say something. Like at the beginning of act two I say “did you all have a tasty treat to tide you over?”, now only a woman would get that. I'm not being patronising or condescending but out sugar levels go up and down like a yoyo. 

It's little lines like that that recognise the biology of a woman that gets the reactions in this show. We do one scene that when I read it I thought “how's that going to work?” and it's a scene about a woman trying on a size 16 coat that she's convinced is a size 12 because it doesn't fit her. 

When I read that I though "oh, that's a bit normal" – it sets the house on fire! And you never realise how much these things mean to women that different shops have different interpretations of clothes sizes. And how frustrated women are with all of this. But the reactions we get are enormous!

ANDY: Were you prepared for this when you went into it, the first time you stepped out on stage to do it, did you know what was going happen?

TOAYH: No, we rehearsed it as a play and we rehearsed it without laughter there and the very first night we did it we added ten minutes to the show because the laughter is so extreme. 

You obviously wait for it and you let it to grow and some jokes you have to give five seconds for the punch line to hit the brain! So it did take us about a week to accept the laughter as part of the journey.

ANDY: What's it like now for you Toyah - I've seen you on stage in a manner of things, musicals, theatre, doing serious stuff, playing new music as well … you're astride many different things in your career. Is that a nice place to be?

Photo by burningambition.com

TOYAH: That's really difficult to answer because any performer always worries about tomorrow. I don't know, I find that hard to answer because you always wonder if you'd explored one avenue more what would've happened. I always have to work so I took the work I was offered and it tended to be very varied. 

Perhaps that's what I'm suppose to be doing and I accept that. You know the question you've asked is a difficult one to answer because I think partly it's because when you get older you don't feel so secure in the world as you did in your 40's or your 30's because you're dealing with your own mortality as you get older. So no, I don't always wake up and think "oh, it's great to be me." I'm always wondering about the future.

ANDY: We're never more than one click away from your past. What you think about that young girl?

TOYAH: I don't think about it often – but there is a sense of pride. I don't think about it often and I think for what I was in a world that's so obsessed about physicality I think I did really well. 

And a world obsessed with female perfection - I'm astounded how well I did. But I don't really think that about too often.

ANDY: What would you say to that youngster? Now what you know, and what you've done and where you are and where you are when it comes to people coming to see you, that audience that comes to see you? Would you give yourself any advice?

TOYAH: Yeah, learning doesn't stop at the school gates. It's always learn learn learn. I never believed in technique when I was younger, everything game from will power. 

And I was very lackadaisical about learning and I say to everyone I meet – learn as much technique as you can because you need that technique to be creative. So I always say do not dis learning. Learn learn learn and never stop.

ANDY: What's it like to tour the country in this production?

TOYAH: It's fantastic because it's doing incredibly well, it's doing a lot better than some stage shows – probably because we're only doing one night in each town. But it is really fantastic doing comedy when the kind of forecast is so gloomy.

TOYAH ON
EAGLE RADIO 96.4
WITH STUART PROVAN
APRIL 2013

STUART: I'm very happy to say I'm joined by Toyah Willcox! Hello!

TOYAH: (on the phone) hello! How are you doing?

STUART: I'm very well, thank you! Now, we are talking about “Hormonal Housewives” which you are touring at the moment?

TOYAH: Absolutely, we're doing a tour of 67 shows!

STUART: My goodness, that is a long tour isn't it?

TOYAH: It's a long one, yeah, different towns every night.

STUART: So from the name, the name itself has quite a few different connotations you can take from “Hormonal Housewives”. What is the show about?

TOYAH: Well, actually the show is three actresses on stage, we're all playing ourselves but we also play six characters and it's a series of sketches. And it's absolutely joyous! I wouldn't say that we're trying to make any statement, I wouldn't say this is feminist or political, it's just a fantastically observational comedic piece. Most amazing subtle things make the house catch fire. 

I never knew that a scene could be written about dress and coat sizes but every woman in that auditorium just recognises what's been said and they just go wild. There's a lot of moments like that in this particular production which are just utterly normal and yet totally outrageous at the same time. And I think that's what makes it stand apart in a similar genre.

STUART: Yes, because there has been quite a few over the last few years, the “Vagina Monologues”, the same kind of – aimed at women anyway as you were saying -

TOYAH: Yeah, aimed at the female audience. But this is nothing like the “Vagina Monologues”. Everyone has a smile and a huge laugh every 30 seconds. It's fun, it's very naughty, it's bawdy, it's a bit Chaucerian and I think part of it's beauty is it's so naughty -

STUART: You say it's aimed at women but if men were to come with their wives and girlfriends, are they going to be sitting there embarrassed or anything like that?

TOAYH: Well, I don't think embarrassed is the right word – I mean it's exclusive because I've never seen more than four or five men out there and we adore men – this is not a man hating show. This is like the secret voice of women. 

And it's a bit of a revelation for men and we've never had a man walk out, they love it, they get all the attention because there is so few in there and they get talked to. But they're so welcome and I say if men really love female company you'll enjoy this show.

STUART: I mean which man doesn't to be honest!

TOYAH: Well, there you go!

STUART: Yeah, exactly! So the show has been written by a husband and wife team so they must be taking ideas or thoughts about what's happened in their own relationship to write this show?

TOYAH: They've taken bits from everywhere to write this show. Julie Coombe (above on the right) is also in the play. It's incredibly observational, she does not miss a thing. You can be walking down the street and she'll see something and she'll write a sketch about it. She's got that kind of imagination and that kind of keen eye that she can just pick something up and remember it. I can't do that, I need a script before I can tell a joke. 

It's fantastic that's she's written this with her husband and a lot of care has gone into it – it's not patronising, it's not condescending and it's not insulting to women and I think that's why it works so well. But everyone in the play – well, I say everyone, there's only three of us – but we all bring our own stories to the table. 

I've opted out from having family and children so I bring that to the table, we talk about that and explore it and Julie explores the fact that she has children. So it's very inclusive all of all types of women.

STUART: And from your perspective, the vast array of things you've done in your career, music, TV – what made you decide you wanted to go on a tour with a show like this?

TOYAH: I've never done anything like it and I like the idea of the challenge of it. It's comedy, it's almost stand-up comedy. And the thing about comedy is not just the timing of your lines – it's the timing of how you listen. Because we're setting up each others jokes pages before they happen. 

And that is an incredibly satisfying way of working and I like to learn with every job I do and I'm certainly learning on this. And it's so all inclusive of the audience that if the audience says something we've got to be ready to reply back. Two weeks in and do you know - I don't feel tired from it – it gives me energy every night, it's that kind of show.

STUART: Are you finding it being a tour and going to different places – do some jokes work better in some places than others?

TOYAH: Yeah. And the town you think are just going to go wild with the smutty stuff sit there rather embarrassed. I mean they get it in the end but it's almost like you're not allowed to laugh at certain things. 

And the posher towns you think "oh, that jokes going to be a bit tough in this town", oh boy, they go for it! But generally we're finding that the whole house rocks with laughter from beginning to end.

STUART: And of course you're coming down here to leafy Surrey in a few weeks time – I don't know, would we be one of the bawdy towns?

TOYAH: We'll find out! I mean I've got no idea! We have such a fantastic mix of women out there. A lot of daughters have been bringing their mums so I think we have to break the ice with the daughters laughing at certain jokes in front of their mums. 

And you know we're very honest about sex in this show, this is not a show for children – it's 16 upwards. I think, you know, sometimes mums have to give themselves permission to laugh in the front of their daughters.

STUART: Absolutely. These are big venues as well that you're getting to play at?

TOYAH: We're playing very mixed venues, recently we played a beautiful tiny venue in Leeds, a music hall and then the next day we're in a massive concert hall and it's sold out. So we're adapting all along the way. Because obviously intimacy is fabulous with a show like this but we have a lovely big set so the big halls work as well.

STUART: It's not the first tour of “Hormonal Housewives” - there was one last year wasn't there – is there things different than last year?

TOYAH: This is a different show. It's completely different set, it's a different script because it's got two new actresses in it including me. “Hormonal Housewives” is a production that will tour and tour but they will always re-write it for people who are in it.

STUART: So that means if you have seen it before it doesn't make any difference – you get a whole new show but it's still the same ilk?

TOYAH: It's the same ilk but it's a new show.

STUART: Fantastic! Well, good luck with the tour – it sounds like you're having amazing time and lots of fun on the tour and we look forward to seeing you here in Guildford and Epson as well.

TOYAH: I can't wait! Thank you very much!

TOYAH ON
BBC RADIO MANCHESTER
WITH JUSTIN MOORHOUSE
1.4.2013

JUSTIN: In a career spanning 30 years, she probably would not like me to say this: Toyah Willcox has had 13 Top 40 singles, recorded 20 albums, written two books, she's been in over 40 stage plays, made 10 feature films, presented “Good Sex Guide Late”, “Watchdog” and “Songs Of Praise”. That's an introduction isn't it, Toyah? (silence) Are you there?!

TOYAH: (on the phone) 35 years and I don't mind people saying it!

JUSTIN: How many years?!

TOYAH: 35!

JUSTIN: 35 years!

TOYAH: I started when I was 17 and then, yeah and I'm 55 this year so I think that's about it!

JUSTIN: That's fantastic! And 35 years ago was "Jubilee" (Toyah as "Mad" below), the Derek Jarman film wasn't it?

 TOYAH: Yeah, something like that! It's too long ago to remember! (laughs)

JUSTIN: Too long to remember! So Toyah, before we talk about your next project, simple question then – 17 years old, thrust into this most exciting of times, the punk explosion, you're in this film which is a seminal part of the entire thing, your world gets upside down! 35 years later, what's the biggest difference?

TOYAH: I think the biggest difference is I wish I knew then what I know now -

JUSTIN: Well, you would've not done the same would you?

TOYAH: I would've done it with more confidence. I mean the one thing that no-one ever says that's fantastic about being older is what you know – you have more to give, it's absolutely brilliant. I'm a much happier person now also. I don't take rubbish from anyone and back then I was quite heavily influenced by people and now no-one influences me. 

I think that's an age thing - you stand very much on your own two feet as you get older. But I wish if anything that I could go back to 17 and knowing what I know now because I would've really kicked the butts of everyone I met. Everyone always gives you their advice when you're very young. When you get to my age you've got all the advice you need and that's your life experience.

JUSTIN: Of course. Someone like you Toyah, it's clear as a nose on anybody's face that you're a creative person, you know, you couldn't do what you do which is act and write and perform and sing and everything else you've done plus your images have changed over the years completely from one thing to another because you control them yourself -

TOYAH: I'm not sticky with an image, I get very bored with an image. And also at my age you've got to be a little careful of what you do -

 Photo by Damon King 

JUSTIN: Oh c'mon! (Toyah laughs) There's nothing sadder than seeing Toyah in a twin piece or whatever they call it (twin set= matching cardigan & skirt) What's the colour?

TOYAH: You know - I just don't want to bare too much flesh at my age – let's put it that way.

JUSTIN: I'm sure you're still colourful and all that aren't you?

TOYAH: Yeah, I have lots of stage outfits. Big costumes, big head dresses. But they're more appropriate for who I am now and there's absolutely no way I'm going to run around in a miniskirt baring my legs.

JUSTIN: If Toyah Willcox is not doing it, I'm not doing it either! (Toyah laughs) You're latest thing is a play, “Hormonal Housewives”?

TOYAH: Yes, we've been on the road for a month. It's an absolutely fantastic massive hit! I think the success of this show is it's joy, from beginning to end. It's not political, it's not feminist, it worships women and worships men in a rather strange modern way. The language is very fruity, it's very Chaucerian. 

I would say if you've got any children below 16 do not bring them – it's too adult. But it's an absolutely joy, it's a laugh every five seconds. And the laughs are aching belly laughs. There's three of us on stage, three actresses, we're all playing ourselves but we also do sketches where we play 6 characters. It's very very funny!

JUSTIN: Who's written it Toyah?

TOYAH: It's written by Julie Coombe (below on the right) who is also in it. I think she's very much the star of it even though all three of us are very prominent. We never leave the stage, it's 216 pages of dialogue. Julie has written it, it's incredibly observational. I'm staggered how the audience react to it – we do one scene about a coat size and I never thought clothes sizes were that important to women, it burns the house down. The reaction is enormous! Women just recognise themselves in what Julie has written.

"Hormonal Housewives" rehearsals 

JUSTIN: For you, you're famous, we know this about you Toyah – somebody comes to you with a play like this – how often do you get things like this and read them and go “ohhh, they just want me to do this to sell a few tickets!” And then something like this has obviously really affected you - “I want to do this”?

TOYAH: That's a very good question. I get about 2-3 scripts a week where I'm just obviously not right for it and it is that thing – people want bums on seats, "we'll send it to Toyah." What I really liked about this play is it's done as stand-up, we don't have what we call the invisible wall between the stage and the audience - 

JUSTIN: Break the third - the fourth wall, darling!

TOYAH: We break the fourth wall – we talk directly to the audience and they talk back and it's done as stand-up and I've never done that. As a singer, as a performer with my band obviously that fourth wall isn't there when I'm singing and you get a lot of chanting and a lot of shouting back at you as a singer but my response doesn't have to be within a characterisation or within a play, with this “Hormonal Housewives”, even when I'm playing myself – what I do has to be in relationship to the play. 

And the timing of comedy and setting up the jokes is two pages before they actually happen and I love it! It's a brain teaser, it's really rewarding. We've done about 30 performances so far and they go in five minutes – I just don't know where the evening goes! It's a complete indication of how enjoyable it is!

JUSTIN: It is, definitely. I'm a stand up comedian, that's what I do when I'm not standing in here on a Bank Holiday Monday and if you kind of come off stage and go “I've finished!”, I set my watch - you run out time – if you're enjoying yourself, everybody is enjoying themselves!

TOYAH: And you get a lot of energy from laughter. I come off stage feeling totally invigorated. The bigger the laughter just the greater you feel. I'm used to applause but I think I've grown a bit jaded to applause. With this the laughter is like currency in the bank, it's a really wonderful feeling.

JUSTIN: If they're not laughing you're not doing it right, that's the thing about comedy, it's instant isn't it?

TOYAH: I've done some terrible faux pas in this, some terrible Freudian slips with my lines and the audience love it even more! So you're in a win-win situation and even when I've got lines completely wrong and they've come out as complete malapropisms, you're just in a win-win situation and the other two actresses say “pardon, didn't you mean to say this?”

JUSTIN: Do you know what the secret is Toyah? The mistake people make and they do this a lot in Panto as well, they'll make a cock-up and it will bring the house down and then they try to repeat it the night after but you can never replicate that moment of spontaneity, can you?

TOYAH: And you can't replicate the audiences. We're in a different town each day and there's absolutely no way we'd treat every town the same because they're not. They are totally different.

JUSTIN: You're going everywhere, you're in Wolverhampton this week which isn't too far for you, homeground basically isn't it?

TOYAH: I live 40 miles from Wolverhampton which is really a cough and a spit away for me. It's fantastic.

JUSTIN: Good luck with it, enjoy it won't you?

TOYAH: Everyone is welcome and we will enjoy it!

JUSTIN: Fantastic! Lovely to speak to you, we'll see you very soon!

TOYAH: Thank you very much, bye bye!

JUSTIN: Bye bye!